found it....

on our honeymoon in salem i found an amber ring there... i wore it all the time... back in 2005 i lost it... i couldnt remember last time i saw it... i was heartbroken... it took me so long to find an amber ring i liked and then i loose it... well tonight i was switching bags to a messanger bag and put my hand in the pocket and there it was... 5 min before i was thinking about the ring and now here it is... i am so happy... lol silly but i am happy..

I hurt...

I had a nerve block today and oh my goddess am I in pain... Even to look down it hurts... I was almost in tears getting the injections... I hope it gets better fast and I am not in pain for a few days... I am also hoping I didnt hurt my back all ready by just looking down... I am so tired and cant fall asleep, I hope I can sleep tonight...

Weekend over

Not sure where it went... Got here and now its gone... Didnt do too much this weekend I had a photography gig today... Was an award ceremony... They had it in a church, crappy lighting... I am hoping he is happy with the pictures... Was cool to see pictures from all the games I was at this summer... Some were even on the awards given out... So it was nice, also nice to hear the people comment on them while they watched the slideshow...

By the time I got home though my mood was just blah... I couldnt find my card reader, things werent running right and other things happened and I was just in such a black depressed mood... I think its lifting finally, I hate feeling like that, like your sinking into the blackness... I just wanted to cry and couldnt ... I've been feeling very down on my self... Not sure where its coming from either... Hubby always tells me what a great wife and mom I am and I tell him I dont feel like I am... I wish I could figure out what brings this out I think maybe I am just too hard on myself... I just wanna be a good wife, mom, friend, person.... I know this swing started when I was looking at some reunion pics that i didnt go to but I saw a pic of a person I am not sure why I even called her a friend... I've had people in my life that have treated me like crap or where I have had to do all the work in the friendship, calling, making plans, etc... People that werent the greatest friends but I accepted them for who they were but it never was the same way back... If I did one thing out of place boy did I hear it... And I took it.. I havent spoken to one friend A in years and I am sure if i were to speak to her it would be all my fault... Last time I talked to her she was mean and nasty to me and I took it I even invited her to my wedding and she couldnt come... I decided that was the last time I would be hurt by her... Havent heard from her since... I just had my 5 year wedding anniversary... The other person J, not sure why I even tried to be her friend I think I was just someone to either introduce her to new people or as a last resort... But for the life of me I tried my hardest to have these people like me and I dont know why... They never accepted me for who I was... When I didnt feel good they would make fun of me... Years later I was diagnosed with migraines... Guess it wasnt all in my head... When they hurt I went running to make it all better... But it was never returned but maybe once by A.... How many times did I go running to her when her mother cut a new hole in her... I would just have to hear her cry into the phone and i knew what was up and I would tell her i'm on my way... I guess thats why I dont make friends easily now... I want people in my life that want me in theirs... And those are hard to find... My stepdad always said you are a lucky person if you have one good friend to go thru life with...

Movies

Hubby brought home Iron Man and all I can say is WOW... Loved it... Better than spiderman and the other super hero movies... And robert downey Yummy... He just gets better looking with age...

Not myself....

I havent felt right since yesturday.... I feel off and not sure why... Part is probably my period coming, my emotions have been so out of wack and today was even worse... I cant deal with anything, even the dog chasing the cat has had me almost in tears... My mom got on my nerves that when I went into the house I slammed my door and screamed at it... I just feel wrong... I am hoping its pms but who knows...

My foot is still bothering me... I rewacked my foot on the gate and it still hurts... The toe doesnt look right I think... My brother called me today to tell me he and his wife are expecting... I tried to sound happy I think I pulled it off... My brother and his wife are the last two people to be having a child together... Their relationship sucks most days... They fight all the time, they dont trust one another and I am wondering if they think having a kid will fix all that is wrong between them... Also my brother doesnt know I know about how he thinks his wife is cheating on him... So that raises the question on whether its his or not... He said his doc put him on some meds to help increase his sperm count... But still makes me wonder if its his... I gues SIL was meeting men for lunch while at school and having online sex... Nice enviorment to bring a kid into...

Oh well I am going to go hide in bed for a bit...

It's Friday wooo hooo, lol

Not that it was a great day... My girls have their days and nights mixed up so all week they have been up all night and sleeping in the day and I have been on the same sleep sched... Today thought I had a pain management appointment so I had to be up early... I think I got maybe two hours sleep? I got a massage before the adjustment which is nice... One of these days will have to save up for a full hour... Then it was on to the adjustment... I was out of wack and I am due for a few nerve blocks next month....

In other news I was coming out of the living room and the dog was in my way and I tripped and banged my middle toe on my left foot... I think I broke it... It hurts so bad, its swollen and the toe and part down my foot is all black and blue... From what Ive been told not much that can be done for it so I have it taped to the toe next to it, which seems to be helping with the pain a bit... Kinda sucks, cant do much walking for awhile... I was hoping to go to the park or something over the weekend but thats not going to happen...

Otherwise nothing much going on, been working on a few things but not sure if I like them or not so might pull it apart... Not sure yet...

Oh well going to get going, need to get a fresh ice pack... Have a happy weekend....

The past

Ive been updating my reunion.com profile and I put a then and now pic up so I thought I would share my high school yearbook photo... The time was 1988 and this is what I looked like lol...

It's saturday all ready?

Where did the week go... At least its a long weekend with the holiday and hubby took some extra days off... Now if I can only get me and the girls on a normal sleep pattern and we wake up at a decent time, maybe we will get to enjoy it... When the girls are awake all night so am I and that means we sleep late... I hate it but i'm dragging butt lately...

My moms been really stressed out this past week... Bills going up, different budgets for the propane bill, I think she has called me three times this week crying and come over twice just for a visit at night, which she doesnt normally do... Like hubby try to explain to her yes your tax's have gone up, but if we lived in any of the other towns crap we would have to commit her... 30 min away some people pay about 5-8,000.00 a year in property tax's... I think that helped a bit but we are going to have to sit down with her and she is going to have a monthly pot for the taxes so this way when it comes up she wont be flipping out...

My brother calls me the other day to find out if i have an extra laptop for his wife for school... Ugh No... I have my old one but I use it for pictures and back up... Plus I'm not going to give him a computer, we lent him a second hand one and he either sold it or just gave it away without telling us... My brother thinks everything is his... And can do what ever he wants with it...

I had my 6month pap... I got to see my old doc, either the pa was not in or she told her she was uncomfortable doing my pap with being a family friend.... Its sad I had no problem with it, and in fact she was gentle compared to my reg doc ... But it was nice to see her... First thing out of her mouth was "I have to tell you when you walked by I thought your looked GREAT" she is a very enthusiastic person...but then also said "so how much weight you going to loose?" I told her I am not doing anything special other than breast feeding still... I eat junk food, and all kinds of goodies... I dont drink sugar drinks too often... I didnt get an exact weight but i think i am in the high 130's... I dont think Ive lost alot of weight in almost two years... I was 198 when i got pregnant with emma, went down to 186 or so the whole pregnancy... So she said not to loose anymore weight and she will see me in 6 months... I think i have to have these paps till 2015, but as she put it we will be best friends till then and then it will be christmas cards, lol... I hope she never goes out of the area I just love her as a doc...

Other than that, nothing much going on... Been trying to play with beads, trying to find my muse and not having much luck... I doodle idea's but to actually make something is taking an act of the gods... I find it frustrating, I want to make something but then again I have to keep two little hands out of all my stuff... Rhi wants to hold everything, emma walks off with full boxes of beads and i have to hunt her down... Just dosent make it fun, more of a hassle when trying to do that part...
...
I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend ....

Playing with psp photo x2

We took the girls to the park on sunday and hubby took a few pics of me... So here is the original and then the 1930's effect... Its kinda fun to play around with that... Making up a portfolio and doing a page with different effects... lol me and my toys...

Picture post

Here's a pic of my little daily prayer space and a pic of my sister holding emma....

Finding my Inner Witch...

I don't seem to be the only one getting back to her witchy side... Today I had hubby hang a small shelf by my side of the bed.... I have a amy brown print in that area, I have my goddess bowl, some crystals, a wand, a small fairy statue and a candle holder... Need to get an incense holder for it... I have also been working on a small BOS that I can easily slip into my pocketbook or just carry around... I've added some of this and that to it, and I have been looking for prayers to add to it... I want to start doing morning and evening prayers, and meditations... I also want to look for prints that remind me of the seasons or the sabbats... I all ready have a frame there, might be nice to change the pictures around... I'll take some pictures tomorrow and post them up when I can... Brightest Blessings to all....

Feeling better

Just wanted to say I am feeling better... Between the kids driving me nuts, all of us sick and lack of sleep I was just down... But I am better , thank you , HUGS to all

?

Did you ever have one of those days where you just feel like no matter what you do you suck? That's how I feel right now, I've cried so much I will be lucky if I can see tomorrow...

Been MIA....

Haven't had too much going on... Been cleaning the house, actually cleaning things out and getting rid of things... I was cleaning Rhi's room yesterday and got the idea to put Emma in there with her... Rhi would love the company and it would get emma used to sleeping in a diff room... The room we were going to put her in has a waterpump that goes off when the pressure gets too low so it kinda freaks her out when she hears it... But I am going to make it their play room so I have a place I can put all the toys when I dont want to see them lol... I think it will work out nice the way things are and hubby and I can have our room back... I've had a play yard set up in my bedroom since emma was born... I will be taking that down tomorrow I think...

I cant wait till we get over to my moms and have all that extra room... I was repacking the paperbacks that i collect and save and thinking about where I can put them over there... My step dad had a thing with tapping movies all the time so there is a wall of video tapes... I will keep out my favorites but pack up the rest I think and put my paper backs there instead...

I've also been taking pictures for a friend of softball games and baseball games... Getting paid for it too so that is nice, gives me some extra cash... And I also get practice with action shots...

I havent been in the mood to make any new jewelry but I have started listing things in my etsy store... I've just been in a creative funk lately...

Hubbys been having some shit going on at work and I cant wait till its all over and things are ok... Right now I think he and I are both a little worried since they havent talked to him yet... TWC is the most backstabbing company I have ever seen... I always hated talking with the other tac call center, they were idiots... I guess they kept them since they work like TWC does... Backstabbers stick with their own kind... Fuckers... My husband has an excellent history in the 7 years he has worked for this company and now someone is trying to get him fired... He is suppose to get a warning but I am getting nervous that they havent talked to him yet... Keep hubby in your prayers that everything goes ok and he still has a job next week... I will be one pissed off witch if not and looking for a bit a payback ... I get pissy when mad... Or my family is in trouble...