Friends...

I’ve been feeling a bit down today… Been thinking about things that bother me from time to time… I recently started using my facebook account and I found a few friends from my past… One we will just call R… We had been friends for such a long time and then after my wedding poof, gone… I had called her, left messages on answering services, with her mom, I even sent a few letters and nothing back… I have to say it bothers me a lot… But what else can I do… If I was back home I would confront her to see what was going on… Did I do something wrong, I asked her in my letters if I did do something wrong to at least tell me… I really have no clue… We met in the 4^th grade and have been friends all this time… We never had to talk all the time or write all the time, the friendship was always there… I asked her to be in my wedding and she told me she had to get back to me cause another relative was getting married and she had to check with that person… I never heard anything… I’m not one to be a pain in the ass about it… I ask you, I felt the rest was up to her specially when she told me she had to get back to me… So I took it as she couldn’t… So I just sent her an invitation and I get a call tell me she would have to let me know cause her and her boyfriend were planning a vacation… I got my response card back a few days later saying she couldn’t make it… I was hurt… A family wedding planned prior to mine is one thing… A vacation that she wasn’t sure of sounded more like an excuse… Maybe its my creative imagination but I just feel like back in high school… She married someone we went to school with which brought her back to those circles we used to be in… By the way I was not invited to the wedding… That was another sting… Was it again something I did or the friends she now keeps that she was embarrassed to let them know she was friends with me… ? If that’s the case I guess all those years of friendship ment nothing? So many unanswered questions that unless she writes back I will never know… She was one of the last people I ever expected this kind of behavior… I don’t think I was ever one of her best friend but I considered her one of mine… The other is my friend K who I have been friends with longer than R… Even after all that’s been said, I still miss her and would love to talk to her to understand it all… maybe someday…..