I won something

I'm so excited I got an email from Jessica Galbreth today to tell me I won a giveaway for one of her Leather bound art books... I dont win things too often, last thing I won was a 100 dollar shopping spree on holyclothing.com... I love her artwork and I am so excited to get this book... Happy Yule to all...

More Snow....

Just when we get rid of most of the snow we had, we get dumped with fresh stuff.... And we are suppose to have a bad storm coming thru the area... I've been looking out the window and it has been coming down all morning, its cold and bitter outside... I cant even see the hills across the way... And my mother went out this morning and borrowed my car... Not sure where she had to go but I got a call about 15 min ago that she put my car in a ditch on its side... She says its ok and I did ask if she was ok and she is just shook up... I am pissed off, she should have known better than to go out in this weather... And I know if the shoe was on the other foot she would be screaming at me... Not sure how she is getting up the hill, might have one of the plow guys in town bring her up... After they pull my car out... If there is any damage I hope she will at least offer to pay for it, depending on how it is would depend on if i took her money... Do I sound bitchy? I think I am just mad that it was my car... Happy friday...

Another quiz

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

fun

Been seeing this around so thought I would try it....

You Are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Quilts

If you love quilts check this contest out on Old red barn co.

Changed my mind....

Ok, I started off moving all my jewelry stuff to my computer cabnit since I could lock it up and keep the girls out of it... I put up hooks for wire and moved things around... Well it didnt last... As much as I wanted to use the area I liked the area in the bedroom better plus its in front of a window so i can look outside while I work... We'll see how it goes, so far so good and I put a throw over the cases so they are out of the girls view... Not sure how long that will last, but I can hope cant I?lol

OMG

I was folding laundry and came out to this....

found it....

on our honeymoon in salem i found an amber ring there... i wore it all the time... back in 2005 i lost it... i couldnt remember last time i saw it... i was heartbroken... it took me so long to find an amber ring i liked and then i loose it... well tonight i was switching bags to a messanger bag and put my hand in the pocket and there it was... 5 min before i was thinking about the ring and now here it is... i am so happy... lol silly but i am happy..

I hurt...

I had a nerve block today and oh my goddess am I in pain... Even to look down it hurts... I was almost in tears getting the injections... I hope it gets better fast and I am not in pain for a few days... I am also hoping I didnt hurt my back all ready by just looking down... I am so tired and cant fall asleep, I hope I can sleep tonight...

Weekend over

Not sure where it went... Got here and now its gone... Didnt do too much this weekend I had a photography gig today... Was an award ceremony... They had it in a church, crappy lighting... I am hoping he is happy with the pictures... Was cool to see pictures from all the games I was at this summer... Some were even on the awards given out... So it was nice, also nice to hear the people comment on them while they watched the slideshow...

By the time I got home though my mood was just blah... I couldnt find my card reader, things werent running right and other things happened and I was just in such a black depressed mood... I think its lifting finally, I hate feeling like that, like your sinking into the blackness... I just wanted to cry and couldnt ... I've been feeling very down on my self... Not sure where its coming from either... Hubby always tells me what a great wife and mom I am and I tell him I dont feel like I am... I wish I could figure out what brings this out I think maybe I am just too hard on myself... I just wanna be a good wife, mom, friend, person.... I know this swing started when I was looking at some reunion pics that i didnt go to but I saw a pic of a person I am not sure why I even called her a friend... I've had people in my life that have treated me like crap or where I have had to do all the work in the friendship, calling, making plans, etc... People that werent the greatest friends but I accepted them for who they were but it never was the same way back... If I did one thing out of place boy did I hear it... And I took it.. I havent spoken to one friend A in years and I am sure if i were to speak to her it would be all my fault... Last time I talked to her she was mean and nasty to me and I took it I even invited her to my wedding and she couldnt come... I decided that was the last time I would be hurt by her... Havent heard from her since... I just had my 5 year wedding anniversary... The other person J, not sure why I even tried to be her friend I think I was just someone to either introduce her to new people or as a last resort... But for the life of me I tried my hardest to have these people like me and I dont know why... They never accepted me for who I was... When I didnt feel good they would make fun of me... Years later I was diagnosed with migraines... Guess it wasnt all in my head... When they hurt I went running to make it all better... But it was never returned but maybe once by A.... How many times did I go running to her when her mother cut a new hole in her... I would just have to hear her cry into the phone and i knew what was up and I would tell her i'm on my way... I guess thats why I dont make friends easily now... I want people in my life that want me in theirs... And those are hard to find... My stepdad always said you are a lucky person if you have one good friend to go thru life with...

Movies

Hubby brought home Iron Man and all I can say is WOW... Loved it... Better than spiderman and the other super hero movies... And robert downey Yummy... He just gets better looking with age...

Not myself....

I havent felt right since yesturday.... I feel off and not sure why... Part is probably my period coming, my emotions have been so out of wack and today was even worse... I cant deal with anything, even the dog chasing the cat has had me almost in tears... My mom got on my nerves that when I went into the house I slammed my door and screamed at it... I just feel wrong... I am hoping its pms but who knows...

My foot is still bothering me... I rewacked my foot on the gate and it still hurts... The toe doesnt look right I think... My brother called me today to tell me he and his wife are expecting... I tried to sound happy I think I pulled it off... My brother and his wife are the last two people to be having a child together... Their relationship sucks most days... They fight all the time, they dont trust one another and I am wondering if they think having a kid will fix all that is wrong between them... Also my brother doesnt know I know about how he thinks his wife is cheating on him... So that raises the question on whether its his or not... He said his doc put him on some meds to help increase his sperm count... But still makes me wonder if its his... I gues SIL was meeting men for lunch while at school and having online sex... Nice enviorment to bring a kid into...

Oh well I am going to go hide in bed for a bit...

It's Friday wooo hooo, lol

Not that it was a great day... My girls have their days and nights mixed up so all week they have been up all night and sleeping in the day and I have been on the same sleep sched... Today thought I had a pain management appointment so I had to be up early... I think I got maybe two hours sleep? I got a massage before the adjustment which is nice... One of these days will have to save up for a full hour... Then it was on to the adjustment... I was out of wack and I am due for a few nerve blocks next month....

In other news I was coming out of the living room and the dog was in my way and I tripped and banged my middle toe on my left foot... I think I broke it... It hurts so bad, its swollen and the toe and part down my foot is all black and blue... From what Ive been told not much that can be done for it so I have it taped to the toe next to it, which seems to be helping with the pain a bit... Kinda sucks, cant do much walking for awhile... I was hoping to go to the park or something over the weekend but thats not going to happen...

Otherwise nothing much going on, been working on a few things but not sure if I like them or not so might pull it apart... Not sure yet...

Oh well going to get going, need to get a fresh ice pack... Have a happy weekend....

The past

Ive been updating my reunion.com profile and I put a then and now pic up so I thought I would share my high school yearbook photo... The time was 1988 and this is what I looked like lol...

It's saturday all ready?

Where did the week go... At least its a long weekend with the holiday and hubby took some extra days off... Now if I can only get me and the girls on a normal sleep pattern and we wake up at a decent time, maybe we will get to enjoy it... When the girls are awake all night so am I and that means we sleep late... I hate it but i'm dragging butt lately...

My moms been really stressed out this past week... Bills going up, different budgets for the propane bill, I think she has called me three times this week crying and come over twice just for a visit at night, which she doesnt normally do... Like hubby try to explain to her yes your tax's have gone up, but if we lived in any of the other towns crap we would have to commit her... 30 min away some people pay about 5-8,000.00 a year in property tax's... I think that helped a bit but we are going to have to sit down with her and she is going to have a monthly pot for the taxes so this way when it comes up she wont be flipping out...

My brother calls me the other day to find out if i have an extra laptop for his wife for school... Ugh No... I have my old one but I use it for pictures and back up... Plus I'm not going to give him a computer, we lent him a second hand one and he either sold it or just gave it away without telling us... My brother thinks everything is his... And can do what ever he wants with it...

I had my 6month pap... I got to see my old doc, either the pa was not in or she told her she was uncomfortable doing my pap with being a family friend.... Its sad I had no problem with it, and in fact she was gentle compared to my reg doc ... But it was nice to see her... First thing out of her mouth was "I have to tell you when you walked by I thought your looked GREAT" she is a very enthusiastic person...but then also said "so how much weight you going to loose?" I told her I am not doing anything special other than breast feeding still... I eat junk food, and all kinds of goodies... I dont drink sugar drinks too often... I didnt get an exact weight but i think i am in the high 130's... I dont think Ive lost alot of weight in almost two years... I was 198 when i got pregnant with emma, went down to 186 or so the whole pregnancy... So she said not to loose anymore weight and she will see me in 6 months... I think i have to have these paps till 2015, but as she put it we will be best friends till then and then it will be christmas cards, lol... I hope she never goes out of the area I just love her as a doc...

Other than that, nothing much going on... Been trying to play with beads, trying to find my muse and not having much luck... I doodle idea's but to actually make something is taking an act of the gods... I find it frustrating, I want to make something but then again I have to keep two little hands out of all my stuff... Rhi wants to hold everything, emma walks off with full boxes of beads and i have to hunt her down... Just dosent make it fun, more of a hassle when trying to do that part...
...
I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend ....

Playing with psp photo x2

We took the girls to the park on sunday and hubby took a few pics of me... So here is the original and then the 1930's effect... Its kinda fun to play around with that... Making up a portfolio and doing a page with different effects... lol me and my toys...

Picture post

Here's a pic of my little daily prayer space and a pic of my sister holding emma....

Finding my Inner Witch...

I don't seem to be the only one getting back to her witchy side... Today I had hubby hang a small shelf by my side of the bed.... I have a amy brown print in that area, I have my goddess bowl, some crystals, a wand, a small fairy statue and a candle holder... Need to get an incense holder for it... I have also been working on a small BOS that I can easily slip into my pocketbook or just carry around... I've added some of this and that to it, and I have been looking for prayers to add to it... I want to start doing morning and evening prayers, and meditations... I also want to look for prints that remind me of the seasons or the sabbats... I all ready have a frame there, might be nice to change the pictures around... I'll take some pictures tomorrow and post them up when I can... Brightest Blessings to all....

Feeling better

Just wanted to say I am feeling better... Between the kids driving me nuts, all of us sick and lack of sleep I was just down... But I am better , thank you , HUGS to all

?

Did you ever have one of those days where you just feel like no matter what you do you suck? That's how I feel right now, I've cried so much I will be lucky if I can see tomorrow...

Been MIA....

Haven't had too much going on... Been cleaning the house, actually cleaning things out and getting rid of things... I was cleaning Rhi's room yesterday and got the idea to put Emma in there with her... Rhi would love the company and it would get emma used to sleeping in a diff room... The room we were going to put her in has a waterpump that goes off when the pressure gets too low so it kinda freaks her out when she hears it... But I am going to make it their play room so I have a place I can put all the toys when I dont want to see them lol... I think it will work out nice the way things are and hubby and I can have our room back... I've had a play yard set up in my bedroom since emma was born... I will be taking that down tomorrow I think...

I cant wait till we get over to my moms and have all that extra room... I was repacking the paperbacks that i collect and save and thinking about where I can put them over there... My step dad had a thing with tapping movies all the time so there is a wall of video tapes... I will keep out my favorites but pack up the rest I think and put my paper backs there instead...

I've also been taking pictures for a friend of softball games and baseball games... Getting paid for it too so that is nice, gives me some extra cash... And I also get practice with action shots...

I havent been in the mood to make any new jewelry but I have started listing things in my etsy store... I've just been in a creative funk lately...

Hubbys been having some shit going on at work and I cant wait till its all over and things are ok... Right now I think he and I are both a little worried since they havent talked to him yet... TWC is the most backstabbing company I have ever seen... I always hated talking with the other tac call center, they were idiots... I guess they kept them since they work like TWC does... Backstabbers stick with their own kind... Fuckers... My husband has an excellent history in the 7 years he has worked for this company and now someone is trying to get him fired... He is suppose to get a warning but I am getting nervous that they havent talked to him yet... Keep hubby in your prayers that everything goes ok and he still has a job next week... I will be one pissed off witch if not and looking for a bit a payback ... I get pissy when mad... Or my family is in trouble...

Family sucks

At times they suck royally... I can not wait for my brother and his wife to move out... I think they have 3 more weeks and will be gone and maybe we can all move on and have better relationships... I get a phone call today from my brother telling me that I am probably going to need to come over and get in between him and kevin (the guy that they asked my mom if she could put a roof over his head)... He tells me kevin is getting in the middle of shit and causing problems and my brother thinks kevin and he are going to go to blows... Now let me tell you this was not something i wanted to hear at this time cause I just took a migraine pill and I was trying to get rid of it... This did not help matters cause it just gets my blood pumping... My brother seems to think he is the wounded party and he is not... He tells me that my mom needs to respect his wife and I lost it... I told him why when she has no respect for mommy... He starts to rant about something and I just chewed him a new ass... I told him well maybe your wife needs to respect mom, instead she is packing things up that do not belong to her... Going through the cabnits and packing up food that mommy bought and hiding it... So dont tell me about respect... You moved back in with mommy cause you knew you could fuck her over... You can move out and pay 300 bucks a month but when living with mom you couldnt afford to give her 50 bucks a month... He starts to tell me he was trying to get caught up on bills blah blah blah, I told him right you moved back in so you could fuck mommy over, get a free ride... And if he was so worried about getting caught up maybe he shouldnt have bought that damn car, and if he had no money then how was he buying stuff to add to this new car and again if he had no money then how has he gone away at least twice in the last two months? I wish I would have remembered that when i was on the phone with him , But I did say plenty and he was not happy... He thought he would call me and I would be on his side... I cant wait for them to get out... To leave... I told my mom he is not coming back and if we have to do the move next week swapping houses we will do it... My mom was so upset the other day she had chest pains... Last night she was upset she was dizzy and was scared but instead layed down... He is not going to put her in the hospital, i will kick his ass to china before that happens... I had kevin come over so I could get his phone #... Then we had a talk... He says he would not do anythign to my brother... The only problem he has with my brother is that he does not help my mom, he does not pay her a damn thing... And what little food they did bring into the house they are going to take with them... I'm sorry they should be grateful and leave at least half of the stuff ... Oh he also had the nerve to call me the other night for ketchup, they had none in the house... What my sil decided not to mention was that she packed up all the extra ketchup to take with them my mom found them in the boxes and bags she packed up... She didnt even pay for the ketchup... So i got ketchup yesturday when i was out, kmart had 10 for 10 so I gave my mom 5 bottles... I am so sick of their shit.. My brother tells me oh me and candis help mommy out mommy wanted her hair dyed and candis did it for her, I then told him oh yeah she did and then a few days later she threw it in mommys face... A favor is not something you make a tally of to throw in someones face latter on... I dont know where my brother got this opinion he is better than everyone and he does so much he is the laziest fuck unless its for him... He borrows from me and never repays back but if I need to borrow something I am reminded that I have to pay him back... I can not tell you the thousands of dollars my mom has put out to help my brother with things and he hasnt even made a dent in paying her back and to even get a dime out of him is to fight him tooth and nail to get it... They need to get out and stay out... My mom cant take it anymore and frankly neither can I...

Addition to the family

Here's Polly the newest addition to our family... She is a border colllie mix, isnt she cute....

my girls

Cool bag

I got this bag on etsy... It's the coolest tote bag I have found so far... Its all these pockets inside, 8 of them... If you knit, or draw, or paint there are these long pockets on the side... then 6 pockets on the inner flap which zips back up and then has two inner pockets that dont unzipp which you can put books, sketchpads, craft stuff, use it as a baby bag, knitting bag etc... very cool bag... AbbyRoo
You can find her on Etsy...

Happy bday to me....

Where does the time go? I can't believe I turned 39... I don't feel it and been told I dont look it, thank the goddess.... I had a nice quiet day... We even had awesome thunder and lightening storms (I love storms)... The rain came down in buckets and the wind was just whipping around... But the best part is it cooled things off, its 1:15 am and its down to 57... The last few nights have not been this nice... My a/c is getting a break... So back to the bday, Hubby got me a cake, cards from him and the girls, I got new perfume, princess by vera wang, the movie jumper, and the three stephenie meyer books I didnt have... I only had twilight, so now I have all the ones in that series and her new one and mom will get me the new one in august when that comes out... I got tires for my jeep but I dont think that was a bday present lol... I also got corel paint shop pro photo, which i love... And a drawing tablet that I have yet to mess around with... I got these before my bday... There are other little things too but I think the best part of today was eating birthday cake in bed with my girls...

Too damn HOT....

I don't know how I am going to make it through summer with the weather this crappy... It's too hot for my liking... So I spent my day in the back part of the house with the a/c going... Hubby went out did what he wanted, got something for us to eat and is playing evercrack in the other room...

Been thinking about getting a dog... Rhianna loves animals, specially dogs... We have watched underdog the movie I dont know how many times cause it has dogs... She loves the dog polly, but I'm not sure of getting a cocker spaniel... Hubbys sister knows of someone with a border collie mix, they seem like a good dog and cute... So we shall see...

Been trying to let the creative part of me come out but I am having a tough time... I want to make something jewelry wise but my muse is in hiding I think... It sucks, I am so frustrated... So I am siting here with beads all over the bed trying to let them talk to me in what they would like me to make them into... I have these great mama beads I want to make something with... I am working with wise mama but not getting too far... ugh...

In other news I turn 39 on Tuesday... Just to look at the number 39 is weird... I dont feel it, thank the goddess... Hubby asked me what I wanted for my bday why is it so hard to think of things you like on your birthday and christmas... I always draw a blank, but if we were just looking or had no money I am sure I could find many things I would like... But now I'm like dugh... Drives me nuts... I'll have to have hubby get a small cake cause Rhi wants to blow candles out... She wanted to know where grandma's bday cake was when we were there, it was cute...

Well going to go see what the little monsters are doing and see if my muse will visit...

Happy weekend everyone, hugs and love....

Dazed and Confused....

Thats how I have been feeling lately... Hubbys sister just found out this past week that her husband has been cheating on her with a 22 year old... I still cant believe it... He was the last person I ever thought would do something like this... They have been together a really long time, got married finally about 2 years ago and have two beautiful children... When I saw my MIL she said they were going to try and work things out but when his other sister was over she told me its still kinda iffy... Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too... Says he wants to work it out but then says things like I havent told her yet that its over and then makes other comments to sil like well if things dont work or if you dont come back do you have a place to go? Hubbys other sister is hoping he just tells her its over so S can get on with her life... I think its just going to be a big mess and even if they do work things out I can never look at him in the same light... I was glad that S told her MIL and FIL what their son did... Just shows you can be religious as you want but that doesnt mean your a good person... Ive always kept my beliefs to myself in fear of being preached to... I did however tonight come out of the closet to his other sister, but she all ready knew... So that feels good that I dont have to hide things from her... I just dont understand the whole cheating thing, its one thing to do when your dating but after your married its different... I think its like what will smith said in todays society there are too many outs, like divorce... Take away the outs dont go into well if it doesnt work we can always get divorced... I know there are exceptions for that like abuse, etc... I think people forget that people grow, and change and when they change people cant except the different person... I dont know anymore, I just hope this whole thing isnt as messy as i feel its going to be...

Fun contest

Kat on my single mom life is having a contest for Mad Money check it out and enter...

Day Dreaming

This is where we live right now... We are hoping to be swapping houses with my mom in the near future, my brother just needs to get his act together and move out with his wife and we will move... Right now they are living with my mom driving her nuts...






This is the house we are hoping to be in, would be nice if it was by winter time... We need the room... The kids need the room... They would have a whole room for a toy area... A huge living room to run around it... So many possibilities...

Waiting for the other shoe to drop....

I have a damn headache now... My brother called me telling me my mom is wigging out over a sweatshirt she says is hers and sil says she bought... Problem living in a house with other people and buying secondhand clothes is things get mixed up... It was a 5 dollar shirt who the hell cares... Sil says my mom can have the shirt (didnt say it she says and shove it up her ass)... My mom says its my sisters and that my mom bought it for her... Sil says she lent it to my sister once when she was cold... My brother is wigging out and calls me... I told him ya know what you moved back in to save money, get your fuck'n act together and move out... You and mom can not live under the same roof anymore... Get out... He moved in with mom cause he knew he could cheat her out of money... Its true my mom and he cant live together...My mom can live with anyone cause no one lives up to her standards... They cant do anything right and never do enough... Granted my brother doesnt do anything but growing up i could never live up to my mothers standards... When she and the family went away and i stayed home i would spend the day before cleaning the house top to bottom and she always found fault... I could have hired pro's to clean the house and it would never be good enough... And my mom doesnt remember everything she buys... I had a fight years ago about a pair of shoes that she said where hers and I said they were mine she bought me my own... She argued and argued finally i threw the shoes at her and said take them... Well after she got off her high horse she went to her closet and found her pair... She never apologized but she doesnt remember everything she buys and i can say that cause i have been there... I am waiting for her to call me and bitch about it... Who knows if she is home or calling my sister to find out who's shirt it is... So damn stupid...

Wanting to die?

Thats how I felt with the migraine i woke up with... it was bad... I took two lortab when i woke up and that didnt even touch it... so then i took my migraine meds one then another one two hours later and still nothing and then the throwing up started and that didnt even help just made things worse... Finally i broke down and had mom take me to the er while hubby stayed with the girls... I am finally feeling better... I got pain meds, stuff for my stomach and fluids... guess i was a bit dehydrated... They could have stuck me with whatever they wanted as long as the pain stopped... I hate when they are that bad... Its like loosing a day with my family cause i cant function... Hubby is just the best, he took care of the girls, washed the floors, did laundry cleaned up... I am so lucky to have a husband like him... I love him to pieces... Oh well I am going to relax... hugs to all

New Love

Is banging out metal... Ive been waiting to get a block so I can bang out metal but I couldnt wait any longer I wanted to play around so I took two hammers one for banging and the other to put the metal on, works just fine till I can get what I want... Think I might actually get an anvil instead so I have thinner surfaces... But here is something that I did last night, not done with it but got the major parts done... I take a strip of metal weave it around in different squiggles and then hammer it out by its self... I found this way to work better...Bang out the circle then the squiggle then put it together... So I made a bunch of different size circles and ovals... Its so much fun, Joy you were right I love doing this...

Watching

I like to be quiet and sneak up on my girls and watch them play... Sometimes together other times when they are by themselves... I just love the imagination and the facial expressions they have... To see their minds at 3 and 1 at work... I find them amazing every day... It still baffles me at times that we made them... I carried them for 9 months and then brought them into the world... I dont think anything has been as amazing as them coming into our lives... I hope I do a good job raising them and they turn out to be good people... My little miracles... I remember how terrified I was to have the first one, my doc asked me if anything was wrong and I told her I was terrified to give birth... She giggled at me and said it will be ok and she has to come out sometime she cant stay in there... I was so scared that I couldnt handle a regular birth, yes I was induced but still she was coming out the way the goddess intended and that scared the living crap out of me... I made sure my doc knew I wanted an epidural and even then it didnt take it all away... I had horrible back labor... Hubby was amazing, there by my side, holding my hand feeding me ice chips, telling me she is almost here and when i thought i couldnt go on he told me he could see the head, almost done your doing great and then I felt the rush of her break thru and I felt her squirm and I was amazed... I did it, we did it and she was ok... I remember telling hubby I didnt think I could do that again but that didnt last long I wanted to give my baby girl someone to play with grow up with and expericence life with... Someone she could say, "she or he did it"... Now I have two beautiful girls and belive it or not I would like one more... I think I am up to 3-4 months of morning sickness, back pain, migraines from hell, swollen ankles, hot flashes and everything eles to bring one more miracle into the world and into our lives...

Pendants

Here are some new things I have been working on...

Saturday Gem show

This was my first gem show and OMG it was like christmas...I tried to go around and look first just to see what everyone had... It wasnt too big and lots of diff stuff and demo's and displays... But I did find some goodies and cant wait for the next show, I want to go to all the ones in the area to see which one I like best... So this is what I found, I all ready removed them from the strings... I wish I could have found more of those orange pearls it was a lone strand floating around ...

Pretty good

Thats how I felt today... I was surprised since yesterday I was in so much pain... So I was a happy camper... I did get a little sore when I was looking for my wedding rings, Rhi got into my jewelry and i couldnt find that and a few other rings... So I was moving things around and bending (which i wasnt supose to do) and the stress didnt help either... But I found them, so all is good... And I relaxed for a bit and put some heat on my back and feeling pretty good again...

The weather today was warmer than usual but not enough to melt all the snow we have here... I am sick of the white stuff... I am ready for green and flowers... I was thinking of doing a garden this year... I havent done one in the last two years and I kinda miss it... I had some wonderful sunflowers one year... They were so big and just happy... I need to get some new wind chimes for the trees too... Two of mine are missing... I like having them hanging all over... I even have them inside the house hanging in windows and doorways... I find them relaxing...

Well going to go and write up a description for a prayer strand I made for someone... So she knows what I used and why I used them... I hope she likes what I have created... I am really happy with it... Toodles

All messed up....

That was my back and my hips... I had my nerve block today... Wow did that sucker hurt... He puts the medicine in where the pressure points are and sometimes they hurt like hell... I have been in some pain since dec and my little trip that pulled my back and through it out of wack... The last few days have been horrible, I have hurt so bad sleeping was hard, doing anything was almost impossible cause any movement just hurt... And taking care of two small children is so hard when your in that much pain... And then I would feel guilty for being in so much pain cause I couldnt do anything... But hopefully todays NB and the one I will have in two weeks will get me on the right track... After I had my two injections and then the two small pressure points I get an adjustment... Turns out my hips were so out of wack one side was higher than the other and that caused my right leg to be shorter than my left... No wonder I have been in so much pain... So after being pulled, dangled, twisted like a pretzel he got everything to pop back into place... Of course I am not suppose to do much the next few days but that wont be possible... The numbing stuff has worn off and I am in a bit of pain more soreness than anything.... I am hoping tomorrow I will feel a little better but it might be worse before it gets better... I wonder if I will have to go to physical therapy after this... Ive had some tingling in my legs which is normal but annoying... My doc is kinda funny, he likes to play music when he does the NB, even tells you to bring your own stuff if you want... I guess he has played it too loud at times and other docs have complained, they like it quiet... He also gets kinda excited when he finds those pressure points that cause you pain, BINGO he will blare out, its kinda funny in a way... He also showed me my x-rays today and where the injections go in... Thats the part that takes the longest the x-rays and the placing of the needles... They use this cool x-ray machine that goes under the table so they dont have to have you move around, just swing it under the table and your good to get the other side... I am hoping I dont mess this one up, I had my fist series of NB over the summer in june and july... It was pretty good till I had that trip and almost went through a glass cabnit so I caught myself and new right away I did something bad... Getting older sucks things dont go back like they used to...

My mom went with me cause your not aloud to drive for 12 hours so she had to watch the girls too... Emma was good unless she heard me then she would start crying but rhi would take care of her she would lean over and say shooosh shoosh baby its ok... It was really sweet... Also this morning while getting ready rhi comes in with one of her my little ponys look mommy I got a pony, showed it to emma and told her she couldnt have it... I told her that wasnt nice and she should find a pony for emma... And she did, she told me okay mom left the room and came back with one for emma, here ya go baby... I told her that was very nice of her to share... She even shared her cookie that grandma got her with her sister... And people just love her she made friends with some ladies in the waiting room, she was admiring the one ladys necklace... Told her it was beautiful so the lady had a bracelet on and gave it to rhi, she said thank you and its so beautiful... Another guy came in while we were getting ready to leave and she was like hi how are you... People cant help but smile at her... Then you have emma who crys at anyone... Totally different...

Nerve block

I have one scheduled for tomorrow morning and I am a bit nervous... i shouldnt be I have had 3 all ready but its been a few months so I guess I am getting worked up about it... Plus it doesnt help I have been in so much pain the last few days... I have no clue what I might have done but I hurt... I cant get comfortable and the pain meds only work for so long... I am hoping this round of NB work and I dont mess my back up again... I cant deal hurting like this... Ive had pain shooting in my legs, I have been at points curled in a ball, or just finding a position that is comfortable for the moment... Cause it doesnt last... Even heat isnt helping as much as it used to... Going to try and take a nap since sleeping has been the pits last few days...

PJ Saturday....

Why get dressed when there is snow all around, rain, ice and just nasty outside... So I stay in my pj's and just hang out... I was hoping to get out this weekend but I dont think that is going to happen... Maybe tomorrow? I would love to be able to go see the new bead section at michaels... I would like to be able to get some canvas and maybe some other things to do... I would like to get things for me and the girls to be able to do... I found the fingerpaints the other day just not sure if i am that brave...

I have been having a little bit of a creative burst so I have been going with it... I have two bday presents to make... I got one pretty much done and the other I started... One is for my sil and it is really hard to make something for someone who pisses you off... Joy told me about a bead that would be so funny to make something out of Coprolite Petrified Dinosaur Fossil Gemstone Beads, its dinosaur dung... Its pretty but its poop... Its also 95 dollars a strand or more... Sometimes they run sales but event then she isnt worth the price... Even for a good joke... I did make a new prayer strand for myself... I dont know why I never made one out of labradorite before... I have my full moon strands but this is diff... I love how she feels... And I put loops on the bottom so when I find something I want to add to her I can...

UGH....

Its snowing AGAIN.... I am so sick of this weather, I am hoping its not as bad as they say we are going to get and we will be able to go out this weekend... I need to get out of here, I dont think I have left the house since last week...

More Ice

Ok Im really getting sick of this...

Safe

Hubbys home safe and sound... It wasnt a totally bad ride, it got crappy the closer he got to home... He called me at one point to say he was on his way roads are crappy... He made it up the hill he said if he had to go back down he didnt think he could do it again... Its ice on the bottom and ice on the top of the snow that fell and its hard... Tomorrow morning will suck... Its funny Rhi always hears hubby come in... I cant hear the door if the heat is going, but she can... Daddy your home and she runs to great him... Its really cute...

Ice

I just went outside to get mail and a few things from my mom and everything is pretty much ice... Hubby said it wasnt doing anything where he is working but when he gets closer to home it could get bad... I wish i could have gotten to him before he left work to tell him how crappy it is up here... I dont think his car will make it... The temp is dropping all ready... Have I said I am ready for spring yet... ? Also I slept like crap last night... I would doze off and then wake up... Then hubby left for work and when I saw the crappy weather outside I waited till I saw him sign on at work and I still couldnt go to sleep... It wasnt until about noon or so that i finally got a nap in and the girls did too so it worked out... Now I just hope we arent up all night...

for fun

Saw this at lani's

LOL

You are a Hippie

You are a total hippie. While you may not wear birks or smell of incense, you have the soul of a hippie. You don't trust authority, and you do as you please. You're willing to take a stand, even when what you believe isn't popular. You like to experiment with ideas, lifestyles, and different subcultures. You always gravitate toward what's radical and subversive. Normal, mainstream culture doesn't really resonate with you.

Are You a Hippie?

for fun

seen this going around....

Your Sensitivity Score: 73%

You are a highly sensitive person. Pretty much everything effects you. You are tuned into the vibe around you, and someone's bad mood can bring you down. But you also easily share in someone's joy - whether you know them or not.

Are You Extremely Sensitive?

Crazy Tuesday

Woke up to not being able to see out my window... The snow was all ready here at 7am... Thankfully it calmed down but the plow never came up... Emma gave me a heart attack this morning i left the room to get a soda and came back to her and my benadryll bottle with the cap off... I have no idea how many were in there... She wasnt chewing on anything, they are the caplets so i would think if she got it open she would be making faces, i fished my finger in her mouth and then called poison control... After all the times with rhi i got the stickers for the phone so i didnt have to freak out trying to remember the number... So I talked to a very nice paul, he said he didnt think she got anything but we had to watch her... Keep an eye out and call me in an hour... So I watched her and played with her and called an hour and 30 min later and talked to another lady who was very nice and said she didnt think she got anything cause she thinks she would have been sleepy by now but to still keep an eye on her for any odd behavoir... So then I had to go to the docs, it took over a month for this appointment I had to go and have my back looked at... I didnt think my car was going to stop at the bottom, my tires locked and I was terrified, I live off a major road, 18 wheelers are on it... I got control at the very bottom and I told my mom to pray nothing was coming and we were very lucky no one way... I had my babies in the car, now I would have left them at home with my mom but with the incident this morning if emma did need to go to the er I was all ready heading that way... I will never go down my road again in weather like this... So emma took about a 15-20 min nap in the car and has been awake and chatty all day... She did have her lead screening done today which was long over due... I think the whole hospital heard her screaming... She doesnt like people... So on the way home we took it easy, we saw a truck flipped not far from our road, someone driving way to fast for that hill... I dont know why people drive like asses in bad weather... Stupid... My car thank the goddess had no issues getting up the hilll I flew up it and we are home and not going anywhere unless we have too... And I am hoping by the time i have the nerve blocks this weather is gone... ugh

Mid week rambles

This week and last week have just been weird in a way... I cant deal with all the family crap and I really thought about asking hubby if we could move... This way if they called and I got fed up I could hang up or say I had to go... Hell they are too lazy to drive to the other side of the property if we were in another town maybe they would never come to visit... Then I would have to worry though of my mom being a woose and letting my bro and sil move in here and she would be paying the bills for here...

Ive also thought about at times going back to work... I feel bad that all the money responsabilitys fall to hubby but at the same time I love being home with the girls even if there are days I am pulling my hair out... I missed so much with going back to work with Rhi... And it killed me that she would call the babysitter mommy... So we'll see what happens there...

So I have been on an emotional roller coaster as of late... Bad me hasnt been taking her meds but I started them again the other night... I have to remember to get a refill from the doc when i see her tomorrow... I also got to talk to my step bro last night and talking with him puts me in a better mood... Puts things in perspective... My family are nuts...

So i am trying to get my spirit in a good place cause I have things to do... Garnet I havent forgotten about you, I have been researching beads, and styles and sketching out a few things... I just dont like working on the prayer beads when I am in a negative mood... So I havent created much of anything this week, till today I was playing around withe canvas and paint... This is what I cam up with .... I like it better than what I started with....
Its just acrylics, fabric paint and candle gravel...

SIL is a pain

In my ass... I am getting more and more to the point of not being able to stand her... I went by my moms to get my mail and she had to tell me something funny , how her boss told her she needed to watch her mouth or something... He is the guy living at my moms house, guess he never got a chance to see her true colors... But then my mom has to tell me how she puts my sister down and me... I asked her ME? What the fuck is she saying? She tells me something about me not being able to potty train my daughter... Rhi sits on the potty she thinks its a play chair, she has no interest... And I feel a child will do some things when they are ready, the only thing i do is if she wants to sit on it I let her and if I am in there going potty I sit her on hers to show her what to do... But the kicker is I'm not aloud to say anything... My mom doesnt want me to say anything to sil cause it will come back on her... For all my moms bitching she does she is such a chicken shit... She just likes to have something to complain about... So I came home pissed off and upset... I have been on the verge of tears for over an hour... I just want to be able to say something to her, and also say well at least I have my children... She had hers taken away cause she was a drug addict... And she has the nerve to throw stones... I just want to tear her face off... I am so mad I cant think straight... Damn Bitch...

She is fine...

We saw the specialist, they did an ekg and and echo and they both are fine... The doc said she can be a cheerleader, baseball player anything she wants, and her heart is healthy... He said it has to do with the growing body, she is small so things are kinda compact... She will outgrow it in her teens... She did wonderful thru the tests, so off to walmart to get her something for her good job... She got a new barbie... I cant tell you how many she has right now... LOL At least all my hard work on dressing them the other day she hasnt undone... I am happy to report no naked barbies... She does love her mermaid barbie for bath time... Its cute... Well I am going to go relax... Hugs to all

Happy Valentines day

I didnt have any money to go to the store and get hubby a card and I am not brave enough to go to the store and go down the VD isle... So I did the next best thing.. I made hubby a card, i printed off some artwork, made my own pages and I put some mushy words in it, the words to our wedding song and some words to a few other love songs in it... Heres a pic, I think it came out pretty good...

Horrible

What is the the world coming too, when a man in a wheelchair is dumped on the floor by a police officer... And the higher ups knew nothing about it till shown their own security camera... I hope he sues the ass off this department, they deserve it...

Specialist

Well the PA called a little while ago... The Doc doesnt remember sending us to a specialist, I said it was in the hospital we never were sent to anyone... So we have an appointment on friday to see a specialist in pediatric cardiology who is only in the area once a month... He is normally in the buffalo area, looks like he is part of childrens hospital... So even though I have been told its normal, I will be a bit wonky till after the appointment... But at least we dont have to wait till next month to see someone... Hubby already put in for the day off... Just wondering if should see if his sister would be home to maybe watch emma? So this way can devote the time to rhianna , not sure what they are going to have to do for/to her... Hmmm, will think on it... Going to snuggle up to my babies...

Three year wellness visit

This was for Rhi, everything was going good until the PA asked me if she had a heart murmur ... I told her she had one when she was born and they told me it was closing up and by the time we left i think it was gone or it was gone by her one week visit... Now three years later someone is hearing it... ? Is this something to worry about, she said it sounded like a normal murmur but why in three years has no one heard anything and there is no notes in her visits in the last three years of the regular doctor hearing it... So now I will be a bit stressed until I hear from her tomorrow after she talks to the regular doctor... And then who knows what my stress level will be like... I am a worry wort... Plus I am a bit annoyed I think that this wasnt caught sooner... But I will wait to see what is found out....

happy birthday

My little Rhianna turned three yesturday...

TV

Nothing on to watch... I hate when there is nothing on tv to watch... Hubby put on one of the hdtv stations to ask WHY? It was a concert for amy winehouse...I told him I dont know why, I think she sucks too... And changed the channel...

Rambles

Lets see.... After the ice storm it got warm and it all went away till yesterday, it came back... Hubby said the ride to work wasnt too bad, good areas and bad...

In family news, they are trying to drive me nuts I swear... My brother is on my shit list, what else is new... lets see his wifes boss is getting a divorce and cant stand to live with his mom so she mentions it to my mom and asks if he can live there for a few MONTHS, not weeks MONTHS... He will be paying some sort of rent... My mom is a place for strays, animals and human... I was so pissed off when i found this out and I think my sil has something going on with this guy, just a feeling both hubby and I get... I mentioned this to my brother that i wasnt happy with this and he needs to knock it off, he then blames his wife... I swear my brother had his nuts removed when he got married... He said he didnt care for this person didnt really trust him and now he is living in my moms house with my brother and sil... WTF And remember awhile back me mentioning my brother not willing to put my mom on his cell phone plan? Recap, mom wanted a cell phone for emergencys, asked brother he and his gf now wife said no... He goes and puts her one son who is under 10 on the cell plan, she doesnt have custody of her kids her mom does... Her mom lets her son borrow the phone and he runs up a couple of hundred dollars that i think they had to pay cause they couldnt get the money out of him... So the phone gets taken away... Now sil cousin needs a cell phone and they put her on the plan... WTF What about your own mother... I am sure her cousin will fuck her over and run a nice bill up and I will just laugh when it happens... I havent seen my brother or sil to tell them what i think of this one... My mom was nice enough to get me and hubby a cell contract cause our credit sucks and I didnt think twice about it I put my mom on our plan and WE pay her 20.00 bill every month... (lets not forget I do nothing for my mom)... My mom car wasnt starting either, and she asked me if she could borrow it, I gave her the keys the night before so she could just come over and take it... She doesnt want to ask my brother he always gives her a hard time... Hell she needed matches for something and he was being cheap about it couldnt spare the 5 bucks for the box... And I dont ask my mom for gas money when i take her someplace or have her put gas in my car... My brother would have his hand out if it was his car but he would not reach in his pocket if it was moms car... He bitches about living there and I told him the other day move out, you could have lived on your own for some time but you had to buy a 17,000.00 car... Nice to know where your prioritys are... You moved back in with mom so you could get your fancy little car, and not pay rent or anything cheap MF... Can ya tell he is a sore spot with me...

Ok something funny now... We have nights where hubby has to sleep on the couch is usually when the kids are sick or sleep schedule is off... That was this week, emma was running a fever again, more teeth coming in... And Rhi is a night owl again... Hubby was trying to sleep in our room I left the room for something... Rhi comes in the room and cant just climb into bed its over hubby she climbs... so he has her climbing over him to get to my side... Then emma comes into the room with a tube in her mouth that makes noises and right in hubbys face, doo doo doo doo... hubby comes in laughing i cant sleep in our room he is laughing, thank the goddess... I had a good chuckle about it myself... Kids are funny....

Funny

This was too funny I'm F*cking Matt

Ice, Ice and more Ice....!

We are getting nailed with a crappy storm... Hubby had to go out early this morning and glad he came back when he did, he said the roads were crap... With that i went to call my moms, no one is home... Call the cell no answer and finally got my brother on his cell... She had a doc appointment and left there at 20 to 12, it was now almost one when I got this news... So where the hell is she... No clue... Finally I thought I heard something and I opened the bedroom window to hear a car skidding and tires spinning then my cell rings, its my mom, she is 300 feet from the top and cant get the rest of the way up can hubby come get her... i told her i will send him and see what he can do but his car will not make it since when he came home it took him two tries to get up the hill at this time there was no way he was getting up... I just looked out the window and see hub and mom, he is walking her up which it sucks cause she has been sick and she cant breath good as it is... Nothing as good as having a lung issuse with asthma, copd and what ever eles oh and she smokes on top of this... Cant get the woman to quit... I am a bit pissed off at her for even going out, she knew the weather was shitty why did she not turn around and come home and where the hell has she been all this time hubby had a shopping bag on his arm... She doesnt want to be treated like a child but sometimes she really acts like one...

And just so you can get an idea of what it looks like out there I will post a pic I took from my bedroom window... I can hear the ice cracking on the branches as the trees sway... I pray we dont loose power that would really suck since everything is electric...

Sounding better

Talked to my mom today she wasnt feeling well on monday she was getting sick and she looked a little pale when i saw her... My sil took her to the er later that night... They didnt do much there other than making them wait hours... She had a virus, needed to run its course, drink plenty of fluids and take advil for the 102 fever she had... I think they should have hooked an iv up for fluids since she was throwing up all day... But they didnt... Talked to my brother the next day when he brought over my mail and I gave him tylenol also for my mom... He makes the comment like he can never move out of my moms house cause who would take care of her... Hello, I did it when she needed me... I expect him to do more of it right now cause he is living in the house and pays NOTHING into the house... My sil also thinks that my mom would be left for dead if it wasnt for her, she made some comment at the hospital like what would you do without me to take care of you? My mom cant stand that they live there... She is so unhappy but since they cant afford to pay her to live with her they cant in turn pay someone to live somewhere else... I am hoping my brother brings my mail over today, I have a few things to say... Goddess same story different day...

This breaks my heart....

Some people should not have kids and its becoming more and more... This article on CNN
Just broke my heart... This poor child did not deserve this... If you have any doubts about raising a child then dont get pregnant, and if by chance you do and dont think you can handle it then give it up for adoption , drop it off someplace where it will be safe... If you want children but find yourself angry WALK AWAY... Go in another room till you calm down or call someone for help... I had a few rough nights as a first time parent and i was alone hubby was away on business and Rhi just wouldnt stop crying I had no idea what to do... I started to cry and felt like my head was going to explode... I put her in the middle of the bed and left the room...( before i could even leave the hospital i was made to watch and sign papers that i watched the videos on shaken baby and other baby videos) I cried a bit more, breathed deep and got my head clear... i would never hurt my children but any mother can agree it can get frustrating... But not to hurt an innocent child... When ever I see one of these articles on the news I wanna beat the person that can do sick crap like this... I really hope they are able to find the parents...

TGIF

I am so glad its friday... It means I have hubby home with us for two days... :) Not sure if we are doing anything other than food shopping but its time together and thats what counts... Rhi has found a new show she likes Sam Sam , its cute she gets all excited and dances and tries to sing the song... So I have recorded a few episodes with the dvr... Emma is trying to walk more and I think she is even trying to talk... Rhi's 3rd birthday is coming up soon... Cant believe she is three all ready...

Not much going on in the creative department... Ive redone a few notebook covers but thats about it... I want to try and sit down tonight and make a necklace or two, I got some new shirts and the only thing i think that will go good with them is something that is close to the neck... So we shall see...

Rest of the family is doing good, mom is getting better as the days go by and she is able to do more and more... Not sure if i mentioned that an old friend from high school found me... I am thinking of calling her this weekend to actually talk to her... Its been about 10 years since i have spoken to her, I think the last time I talked to her was when my stepdad past away... I have a video from my 18th birthday that I havent tried to watch cause it has my stepdad in it and Im afraid i think it will make me cry... We didnt always get along in the begining but that changed later on and I miss him a lot...

Party....

We finally got to have Emma's 1st birthday party today... It was nice... I love having family over and the kids running around the house having fun... We thought Emma would mash her cake up but I dont think she knew what to make of it... Rhi was more than happy to just lean over and lick the cake and show her sister what to do...

I took a nap after everyone left... I was so tired... I havent gotten much sleep the last few days and its catching up with me... Kids have been up early and I think I am getting a cold... Trying hard not too but only time will tell...

So now I am relaxing, drinking a hot cup of coffee, the stuff doesnt keep me awake... And chatting with my pal Joy... I showed her a pic from today of rhi with the babys and then we showed one another what we have been making... She is so talented and if you want to see what she creates stop by her store on etsy GoddessJoy
Here is one of her pieces... Pretty isnt it... Go on and stop by...

Well going to run, and chat a bit more... Hugs to all

Sunday Shopping....

Well we got a late start but we went shopping for some food things we needed at sam's club... Love buying in bulk... And I got to use my gift card I got from my MIL.. It was for old navy... Not only did I have a gc, but they were having 50% all ready reduced clearance stuff... So I spent 37.00 of it and have 13.00 left and I got, a pair of jeans I so love, I was afraid they wouldnt fit being a size 6 but they looked a little on the big side... I also got 6 shirts, 2 heavy scarfs, 1 sweater, 1 dress... I probably could have spent the last bit on the card but I had hubby and the kids in the car... Hubs let me go in by myself so I could just have fun and enjoy myself... I have the portable dvd player in the car so the kids were entertained... Its been a long time since I enjoyed myself shopping like that... Felt good... Only down thing was probably while trying on all the clothes I lost the bracelet I made last night... It was only copper and glass but still... I also got a few odds and ends at michaels... They have like half the bead isle clearanced... I hope they are going to be bringing in some new fun stuff....

Well I am going to go relax now... Oh just an update, Emma is doing good... She is happy and on the go... She is still getting her appitiete back but I am sure she will be good in a few days... She has her wellness visit tomorrow, so will go over everything with the doc tomorrow... Have a good night....

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Emma and how did we start off her 1st birthday, me taking her to the ER with a 103.7 fever... I panicked gave her the tylenol but didnt wait for it to kick in by the time we got to the er and got into a room the fever broke... But she did get looked at and its viral so give meds for comfort and plenty of fluids... Its gotta run its course... Just a crappy way to turn one... She is finally sleeping for a bit though which is good, she needs to be near me though she doesnt want to sleep alone... Well I am going to try and get some sleep...

Rollercoaster.....

After my last post that is how I feel... I was so angry, Now I feel like crying... I was trying to make something earlier but now thats shot... I cant work when I am like this... :(

Kiss My Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got off the phone with my sister.. she wanted to tell me my mom might be coming home tomorrow which i all ready knew... We got to talking about a few things and she brought up the ring my mom gave her on her wedding day to sperm donar... my sister asked about it and my mom told her not to worry about it... I dont like to lie and i felt bad hurting my sis but i told her the truth that the ring she gave her, which was my moms wedding set and the wedding set that was my aunts that i thought i would get on my wedding day for my something old, she pawned... Beautiful antique rings she got 600 bucks for that where worth a few grand... She needed cash for a little trip she made to see my brother she said when he worked at the camp... I was so mad when i found out what she did... I always wondered why she never gave them to me on my wedding day and she was clueless on letting me borrow something to walk down the isle with... I cried my eyes out the morning of my wedding, I was hysterical when I called rich... He called his mom and told me she would see me with something special... My mom sent over this crappy ring little while later but the damage was done... Hubbys mom let me wear a nice strand of pearls... What did my mom say when she saw me... "Where did you get those? are those my pearls?" No mom rich's mom brought them for me to wear for something old and borrrowed since I was so upset... So not only did my mom upset me, she then thought I stole from her... So now my sister is a little pissed at my mom... I know why she took the set back, she was afraid my sister would sell it... She always needed money... And who turns around and does it, my mom...

So sis and I had a long talk and she tells me how my sil talks about me and how hubs and I do nothing for my mom... How we dont go over and help my mom... Lets see, when mom was alone, we helped her whenever she needed it... When we could do it we gave her extra cash as well... Whenever she needs something now we do it for her... When hubby does the snow blowing he doesnt just do here, he does it all... We pay the bills over here on time so mom doesnt have to rent to anyone eles who wont take care of the place or let it sit vacant... Cause If my brother lived here, he wouldnt pay the bills... I pay the renters insurance over here, I pay for the cell phone my mom has that they couldnt do for her but could do for sil kid, who sil mother gave the phone to her son and he ran a bill up that i dont think they paid... When my mom needs a ride I do it...

What does my brother and his wife do? They dont work, either of them... They have no kids to take care of... The freeload off of my mom, they dont pay her rent... The eat her food and dont replace it... The run up the bills and dont help her pay them... When my mom asks a favor it takes my brother days, weeks or over a month to do things... My brother has borrowed money and not payed it back and now my sil thinks my mom is the bank too... My mom was happy with them not being there, they think she was lonely, she wasnt and wishes for those days now... My brother got back payment from ssi, about 19,000.00 he blew it less than a month I think... He bought himself a new car, he didnt pay for it in full so he does have a car payment, because of that they cant afford to live on there own cause they wont make their bills... They cant pay my mom money but they go out all the time, have money for cigarettes go out to eat, etc... They keep bringing home animals and my mom winds up taking care of them, paying for the vet bills or being guilted into paying vet bills... My mom feeds their animals as well as her own, and even when they left last time, they left their three cats there... I keep telling my mom to stand up for her self she is an adult but my brother likes to guilt her into things, my sil is just a bully and wont do it in front of me for me to see how she treats my mom but I so wish i would see it... And even when my mom tells him no my brother will nag my mom and nag her to the point of driving her nuts so she gives in... My brother is a DICK... This is something that has been bothering me as well cause I keep my mouth shut cause everything I hear is from others... I told my mom today if he has something to say and same for sil have the balls to say it to my face... Dont bitch to my mom cause your too chicken shit to say it to me... And that I am going to say to my brother... I so want for him to tell me what I dont do, so I can tell him all he doesnt do and how he freeloads off my mom, he is 34, and he needs to start acting like a man...

Happy New Year....?

I wish I was happy but I have been depressed and its getting on my nerves... I dont know what is wrong with me... It has been happening on and off but as of lately its been constant... Is it the new year...? If I dont feel like crying then I am pissed off... And that has been getting really bad too... My mom is in the hospital, that happened new years eve... My sil had to go calling around to find her cause when they got home they noticed the animals hadnt been fed... My mom didnt call anyone to let them know where she was and she didnt think to have the nurses call one of her emergency contacts... She went to the ER around 3:30... It was after 7 when we found out where she was... So I got pissed off about that... Then we all went to the ER and she starts jumping down my brothers throat and for once he didnt deserve it so I told her to knock it off... She then tries using the medication she is on, it makes me funny she says... I then said to her "well whats your excuse for the other 364 days of the year"? I guess i touched a nerve with that cause she got upset... I appologized kinda, before i left to go home i told her i'm sorry that i'm on her case but she does things that drive me nuts and she is her own worst enemy... She told me i drive her nuts, we hugged and said i love you's ... I was also pissed that my mom was still in the er at 10:30, they were going to admit her, they just needed to find a bed... at 10:30 they still didnt have one and they had 3 others waiting for rooms, old people in wheelchairs in the waiting room with iv's hooked up cause they were so busy and I guess understaffed... I cant wait for that "how'd we do" form they send ... I also was pissed off at my brother cause he was there for maybe 30 min and then they had to leave... they left me there cause they had to go meet her cousin at midnight to drop off her kid... why they had to go hours before i dont know... I left at 10:30 cause I didnt want to be driving closer to midnight...my mom understood she didnt want me driving with all the drunks either...

There is so much more bugging me but I will save that for tomorrow... I'm probably driving hubby nuts with my typing but I cant sleep and I figured I needed to get this out...